Love. Was there ever anything more serious and important and world defining? Perhaps, if we’re being literal…but why bother with all that? Some people say that news of a royal engagement isn’t really news, but, as a single person in my 30s, I beg to differ.
For a 20- or 30-something single person, probably for a single person of any age, it feels like THE IMMENSE, WORLD-DEFINING SUBJECT. For single people getting on a bit (anyone from 25 to 45 might relate. 45 plus and I’m guessing you’ve come to terms with a life on the shelf – sos if that’s not the case) there’s immense pressure to find the one to spend your life with, the one to have a family with, the one to make your mother and all the other ‘well-meaning’ idiots that constantly offer smug relationship advice like there’s nothing else in the world to talk about (there is, see above) SHUT THE F*** OFF. I truly believe that single people are less interested in finding someone than they are with just having a conversation about something else.
Then comes the hard part: how to meet your match. It’s really a seemingly constant cycle of choosing the best of the current tinder selection, picking one (or more, if you’re full of energy) to tentatively get to know, finding their flaws, debating whether or not you can live with said flaws, and rejecting them (or being rejected). Then you begin the cycle again.
Some highly organised and energetic single people manage to date a few at a time, presumably to speed up the process of finding ‘the one’, or maybe because they get a perverse thrill from rejecting (or being rejected). I have given this a go a few times. And while I’ve always managed to keep multiple conversations going, never facing the embarrassment of texting the wrong one, I don’t really have the multi-tasking skills to keep it up. So kudos to those of you who do!
Some people branch out beyond the dick-pics and topless ‘men who workout’ of Tinder and add their profile to one of those paid dating site thingys. I want to make it very clear that these are no longer the reserve of the very desperate. I’m not saying I use them myself, I’m just saying I want to make it clear.
Often you’ll be dating a while before you discover your potential life-partners alcoholism/ erectile dysfunction/ anti-depressant habit/ compulsive lying/ mother issues/ commitment phobia/ controlling tendencies/ opioid addiction (delete as appropriate). Then you have to weigh up whether one or more of these…let’s call them ‘drawbacks’ is enough of a reason to re-enter the world of UNSOLICITED RELATIONSHIP ADVICE.
Unsurprisingly, slightly older single people sometimes feel (and I know this is a generalisation) a little…despondent. Maybe even a little pessimistic about their chances of finding ‘the one’…or at least the one to keep your mother from banging on about grandchildren! So when my 33 (not 34 yet)-year-old self heard that Prince Harry, yes actual Prince Harry, had asked a 36-year-old divorcee to marry him. I was able to brush over how absolutely gorgeous she is and look brightly at the Match.com word once again.